Pregnant or Crazy

Well either im very fertile or just crazy. I had my Iud removed on Jan 18th, Hubby came home on Jan 21st. We did the Baby Dance quite a bit for the following week. I was expecting my Aunt flow to visit during that same week but to my surprise she never came. However after 6 Ethan Phillip Tanner tests apparently I am just crazy. I’m just hoping that it’s just too early to test positive.  Everything i have read says there is no way i should have any symptoms yet; however I’ve experienced mood swings, a heightened sense of smell, and a little nausea. Plus I just feel different. Maybe it is all in my head. Maybe i just want to be pregnant so bad that i am imagining these things. I have decided to wait it out, (Really what choice do I have?) Hopefully the answer will come soon. Untill then I will just have to keep wondering; Am I Pregnant or Just crazy????

The time has come!

Today is Jan 17th, Yesterday My daughter turned 10. I’m not sure where the time went. I remember very clearly the day she was born. I even remember the 2 bowls of captin crunch i ate that morning. I remember Knowing that was going to be the day. My daughter has turned into a beautiful young woman. I am finally ready to add to my family. Tommorow I go off of my birthcontrol ( IUD). Then my husband and i are going to start trying for a baby. I always heard dont wait till you can afford one cause you will never have any. Well I have proven that saying wrong. My husband and i are almost completly debt free. With just a 15,000 on a car and the house left we are very much able to afford a baby. I am so excited for this journey. It feels new again, and i can’t wait to get started.

I hate Hormones

Well its been one of those days, and by one of those days I mean I’m pmsing; apparently so is my husband. I’m not sure if it is just the hormones talking but it feels like every time ive asked him a question he has bitten my head off.  Maybe I’m over reacting maybe not. But I am sick of it. I have my own reasons to be pissy. My hormones are all out of whack and I’m about to be flowing like if the Hoover dam broke. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

On a side note i worked out double time today. One hour of water aerobics, Then 30 mins of moderate paced elliptical. Yay Me!!!!! However this double dose of exercise has left me very sore; Which has me worried about my first zumba class tomorrow. I am really excited but; am wondering if i shouldn’t have over done it today.

Update on the romance problem from yesterday’s Blog; It is still very much there. I can’t be sure but i think he might have been trying to get romantic with me. I ignored his advances: Why?  You ask. Well reason one, He has fallen asleep on the couch every night early, Which he doesn’t usually do, So i wonder if he is disgusted by my current weight. Secondly it felt as if he was just doing it out of pity. Which is even worse than not wanting me at all. Like I said could just be the hormones talking but, What is a girl to do?

The plan

So………. As i stated in my first blog, one of my goals is to lose 40lbs. I started my diet and exercise plan this past Thursday. It is now sunday and I think im doing ok. I have eaten very well staying under my daily calorie allowance, I have also been doing different types of exercise, So far i have taken 2 water aerobic classes, walked on my tread mill and worked out on the elliptical. My plan will be this, Monday,Wednesday,Friday- swim laps for 30mins, Water Aerobics 1hr. Tues and thrus- Zumba, 1 hr Tread mill 30mins, elliptical 30 mins. Sat- Tread mill, Elliptical 30 mins each. Sunday- rest. I have done all of these things except for the zumba; I am excited about taking the zumba class though.

My diet will be as follows- Breakfast- Carnation instant breakfast, Either 1 banana or 1 special k bar.   Lunch-one hot pocket. Dinner- nightly choice. Snack- protein water.

I am also taking a supplement i read good things about called recreate. So far it has helped to curb my appetite, and my energy level is amazing, not to mention i have had no jittery feeling or trouble sleeping.

I have three reasons for wanting to lose weight.

1. So my chances of getting pregnant will increase (look for the explanation of this in a future blog.)

2. My health

3. My husband has lost a lot of weight and now weighs less than me. Which i am not comfortable with. It is hard to be romantic when all i can think is he must think im a cow!

The beginning of the end

Happy birthday to me………….     Today I am 29 years old, and so begins the end of my twenties. Its very early so im pretty indifferent to it at the moment. Maybe it will set in later in the day and i will freak out, maybe not.

To celebrate the day of my birth I am going out to lunch with a friend of mine. I know that doesn’t seem like much, but When you have a husband who travels for work, and no family aournd, Then lunch with a friend is the best you can ask for………..

It is now the end of the day. I must say that the day turned out to be really good! Other than the fact that my own mother called to wish me a happy 30th birthday. I got surprised with flowers from my husband, A yummy lunch with a great friend, loads of birthday wishes from friends and family, and now im ending my day with my faviorite new show, GLEE!!!!!  Tomorrow i start my journey well one of them anyway. Tomorrow i start my weight loss journey, The baby journey can’t start till next month. So get ready to come along for all my ups and downs. Here’s to a great ending.

So it begins.

The year was 1989, I was eight going on nine, and it was my mother’s 30th birthday. I only have one memory of that day. My mother crying, I still to this day do not know what it was that made her weep. Maybe she was terrified of 30, maybe she felt she hadn’t accomplished as much as she would have liked, or maybe she wasn’t happy with where her life had taken her.

Fast forward 20 years and 7 month’s the date is december the 8th 2009. Tomorrow I turn 29. Just 365 measly days and I will be my mother’s age! Am i terrified of 30? absolutely! Why? Well i really don’t know. I have decided to start this blog so that i may share this scary journey to 30 with the world.

I do not have a long list of things that I am obsessed with accomplishing before the dreadful day arrives. I do however have 2 goals. Which may seem simple to you but mean the world to me.

Goal 1- Lose 40 lbs

Goal 2- Get pregnant

Now I know your thinking ; They cancel each other out, but because of a medical condition i have i must accomplish goal 1 before i have any chance of achieving goal 2.

So please come along on this journey, Who knows maybe there are others out there reading this who are going through this as well.